Sunshine Sunday - Mother's Day

I am blessed to be a MOM. 

It is the best job.

It is the hardest job.

It is the job that I have loved more than any other job.

The benefits package is incredible, the paid time off..not so much.

These boys that call me mama, that hold my hair, that make me crazy, that want dinner every single night, that create dirty clothes at warp speed, that love to snuggle, that love "helping", that tell me I look pretty, that are ALWAYS thrilled to see me, that overstimulate me are by far the greatest earthly gift I have been given.

3 Years

Three years ago today was the last day I worked outside the home.  Matthew was 9 months old and our only little person and we had Phlip-Phlop the cat.  We had movers scheduled to come the following day to pack us up and relocate us from Montgomery to Huntsville.  We were beyond excited about the move but I was a little nervous about our new life.  I always felt A LOT of pride in being a great employee, decent financial partner and certainly took a lot of pride in my career.  It felt weird scary to not have a plan.  I am by nature a planner.  I also had serious issues depending on someone else for my financial support, I felt like a mooch and it took me a good year to come to terms with that vulnerability. 

I was never one of those people that envisioned myself staying home with kids.  Really, that is what daycare was for, right?  As much money as I spent on undergraduate and grad school, not earning an income was not even on my radar.  Yet here I am, a stay-at-home mom, a housewife, a chef, a CFO for our family.  And you know what, it is a tough job but I am blessed that they think I am doing a good enough job that they keep letting me do it because I love it, most of the time.  Unsolicited hugs from your babies don't hold a candle to an unexpected financial bonus.  Having a little person want to help you make biscuits beats the hell out of training and retraining someone to do a job they don't really care about.  Watching your children explore their big world is a priceless experience.

I know that this scenario does not work for everyone but I am glad that we were willing and able to make the sacrifices so that we could enjoy this reality for a few years.

So 3 years later:

Matthew is fast approaching his 4th birthday, little brother Kimber is 18 months old, we have added a precious pupster named Muppet to our crew and Phlip-Phlop the cat is still hanging around.  We have settled into a fairly stable routine and our reality is good, even though there are days we all need to be reminded just how good it is.

In a perfect world I will be able to do this for a few more years but I accept the fact that our world is constantly evolving and we have to roll with the punches if we want to survive, so we shall see.

In the meantime, there are clothes to wash, worms to dig, vegetables to harvest, biscuits to make, floors to sweep, boo-boos to kiss, boys to bathe, giggles to hear, flowers to pick, train tracks to build, tears to dry laughs to laugh and so much more.

Superwoman, I am not.

A friend, one that I consider SO ON TOP OF IT all the time, confessed some of her imperfections and it made me think, what a humbling, liberating feeling it might be to just be honest.

It is so easy, from the outside looking in to think friends, family or neighbors are more on top of things than I am but the truth is we are all fighting our own battles.

I miss the easy days.  I miss hanging out with my funny husband.   Before kids, before rent houses, before the never-ending to do list.  Since we married while I was in college and spent the next 5 years finishing college and graduate school I am not sure our life was ever "easy" but it seems like that phase was much easier than this raising little people one is.

I used to be so patient and lately I feel like I lose my patience constantly....I hate yelling and getting mad but there are days where I feel like all I do is get on to my little guys.  I hate myself and feel like such a failure when I lose it with them.  They mean so much to me and I swore I would be this amazing, awesome, super mom and the fact is, some days I am not.

I am actually starting to enjoy cooking.  I know, so very domestic of me.  Cooking used to be such a chore back in my working outside the home days and while it is still a chore some days, these last few years it has become a bit satisfying.  Giada I am not but I do pretty well.

I hate dusting...I mean truly despise it. (Sorry D, couldn't find better words).  Of all the household chores, it is the most annoying, I mean the minute you dust it needs to be done again.  At least the bathroom stays fairly clean for a day hour or two.

We recently changed up our bedtime routine and it has been working much better.  I spent several months HATING bedtime in a bad way.  The entire process physically, mentally and emotionally wore me out and I can guarantee I was not a very good wife after going through that.  Our new routine of laying down with them (which I swore I would NEVER do) for a few minutes works, right or wrong, we have found something that works and we are ALL happier....though I really have to fight hard not to fall asleep with them sometimes.

Just remember, there is always a story behind the story and NO ONE is perfect.  The funny thing about perfection is that we are always striving for it when in reality it doesn't exist.

The girls

They're BACK!!!!!

After nearly 4 years of being pregnant and/or nursing the girls are finally mine again!

I am thrilled, well not so thrilled by how they look, but thrilled that they are no longer being utilized by someone else for food/comfort/etc.

I am thankful, very thankful that I was willing/able/lucky enough to be able to nurse both my little guys and know in my heart it was the right thing for us. 

On a totally unrelated note....I am REALLY looking forward to a FULL NIGHT of sleep, it has been over 18 months and I am DUE!!

No neighbors..I am not torturing my children.....they just H A T E sleep.

As in any long-term adventure there are good days and then there are the not so good ones.  I am pretty sure my neighbors must think I torture these poor kids with the way the carry on at naptime and/or bedtime.  It seems we are finally breaking even in that we have an many good days as not but the bad days are tough.

Here is the scenario, on a good day, I lay Matthew down in bed and he usually reads books or plays tractors until he doses off, I then nurse Kimber for a bit and lay him down awake in his bed.  He usually fusses for less than a minute and then dozes off.  SO on a bad day, I lay Matthew down after reading books, nurse Kimber for a bit, lay him down, he wiggles, rolls, turns on his aquarium, chews on the crib, whines and then starts crying as if the world is coming to an end...at which point Matthew screams "Baby lay down" while kicking his legs like a mad man.  At this point Kimber either cries harder or laughs.  This can go on for hours if I don't intervene and the actual intervention delays bedtime by at least 30 minutes.

I know all about Mr. Ferber, The Baby Whisperer and Babywise, I have read the books, repeatedly....believe me.  I truly think that my children are genetically predisposed to sleep adversity...that and I am not a Ferber mom, though I have had my days where I have let the screaming go on because I am simply at a loss for what to do.

I know that this is all a phase and that a month from now it will be different, hopefully better, but at least different.

Mommy Day

Lucky is not a good enough word.

Blessed seems so passive.

I can't quite put my finger on a single word that describes how I feel each time one of these little people gives me a hug, crawls up my leg, nuzzles his drooly mouth in my neck or asks me to play.

Becoming a mother was not a split second decision but I continue to be surprised by all the ways it has changed my life.

Wishing all you mommies a day filled with sweet baby snuggles and loads of love.

I thought I had accomplished a lot, but being a mother is by far my greatest accomplishment.

I thoroughly enjoy being your servant, disciplinarian, nurse and chef.

I am not and will never be the person I was before I become a mom, and that could not make me happier.

Happy Mother's Day

Superpowers

One of the "perks" of motherhood they don't tell you about is that you will develop some amazing superpowers when you become a parent. It seems kind of nice to offset the lack of sleep with the ability to kiss away boo boos, make a little persons day by fixing a toy...or getting the play-dough tub off the top shelf.

Poor Kid #2

I am pretty sure that first children do not realize how good they have it. In these first few months with our second child at home, I have made some observations as to how things are different for Kimber than they were for Matthew.

* Matthew enjoyed uninterrupted meals. Poor Kimber barely gets comfortable and Matthew needs milk, a playmate, a diaper change, etc, etc.

* Matthew was photographed at least 9000 times in his first three months and while I promised myself that Kimber would get the same treatment...reality is...he hasn't.

* Every toy in the house belonged to Matthew, poor Kimber gets told no less than 10 times a day that what he is crawling towards, looking at or drooling on is "mine" by big brother.

* It is very seldom that Kimber gets to rock alone with one of us. Matthew loved to rock and snuggle and Kimber does too, he just gets to do it with a 2 year old along for the ride!


To compensate for the things Kimber has not enjoyed, he LOVES his brother. I mean you can see it in his eyes, he stares at Matthew with complete adoration which of course makes me smile.

Happy One Month Kimber

I have made a deal with myself that I am going to write you a letter each month during this first year to record your life during these crazy months. I also plan to include some of my favorite pictures of you each month as well.

Happy One Month Birthday Kimber

My sweet Kimber. It is hard for me to believe that you have already been home with us for a whole month. You are a sweet boy and love being held, you are an enthusiastic eater and are a pretty decent sleeper. You already show a preference for sleeping on your tummy, you tend to get super gassy at times which leads to the toots that are more like a man than a sweet little baby. In fact, you were in bed with Mama, Papa and Matthew the other night and you tooted and Matthew pointed at you and said "Toot Baby" and of course we all giggled. I weighed you this morning and was shocked to find out you already weigh 10 pounds, you are a growing boy. You look very much like your big brother did at this age though you do have the cutest little dimples and are starting to grow some tiny little rolls on your legs. You grunt when you stretch and it always makes me smile. Your big brother loves you and is constantly giving you kisses and hugs. When he wakes up each morning he says "Baby?" as if asking a question, he always wants to know where you are. In a few short weeks you have become a part of our hearts and we will never again be the same. We love you and look forward to the days, months and years ahead.

Napping

Getting some sun....or watching big brother play outside.



Not too sure about this.


Papa Time

I simply love this picture of you, so peaceful and adorable!!!

Sitting with Matthew in a chair that is very special to us.