And I Quote

We were pulling out of the driveway a few days ago and Matthew sees the internet service truck and promptly asked is he was coming to our house.  I said no, everything is working fine at our house.  He said, no it's not, he needs to fix out internet so we can watch baseball games on TV. 

We canceled cable several months ago and he is just now missing it.  They really need an a la carte option!!

Chicken Tune Up

So, our little chickens are under the false impression that my toenails, when painted, are appetizing treats.  I do NOT agree with them, after being the object of their enthusiasm a few times I am a little apprehensive to say the least.

Yesterday we were outside gardening and they were following us around.  It sounded like this:

Me: "Noodle, if you peck my toes you are going to get a tune-up."
(We use the term tune-up when referring to spankings.)
Matthew:  "Mama, how do you tune-up a chicken?"

No words, simply no words.

Paying the President

So, tonight I was working on our tax file, you know I procrastinate until the night before our appointment even though every year I swear I will have my spreadsheets populated monthly, receipts collated according to property, etc, etc, etc.  So, in walks Matthew wanting to know what I am doing.  I explain that I am getting all of our personal and business tax information together.  He wants to know why, so I explain that we pay taxes to the government on any money we make.  What are taxes for he asks.  I explain that taxes pay for A LOT of things like the soldiers that keep us safe.  He seemed satisfied and walked away.

A few minutes later he returned and asked,  "Mama, how much money do you have to pay the president?"  I lost him when I attempted to explain that for every dollar we earn we have to pay at least 25 cents in taxes.

A little bit crazy

After studying my drivers license picture Matthew says, "mama, you look a little bit crazy in that picture", in my head I immediately retort with why yes son, I was a little bit crazy.  You try spending HOURS in the drivers license issuing facility with a one year old, you too would look a little bit crazy!

And I Quote

Matthew to Kimber, "you crack me out Kimber".

Kimber to me, just after being encouraged to use his fork and not his hands to eat spaghetti, "mama, cookie monster doesn't use a fork, he only uses his hands".

Me:  "Kimber, why do you have to keep standing on me"?
K:  "Mama, Mauser (the dog/horse) is very big".
??????????????????????????????????
Me: In my brain only of course, really, if there ever was a doubt who your Dad is, this last 5 seconds completely confirmed your paternity.

In a minute

Kimber has taken to telling me "in a minute" about a lot of things these days.

Today, we were talking about their upcoming birthdays and Matthew was saying that he is going to be 5, Kimber then chimed in that he is going to be 3 and then 5 "in a minute".

It does seem like he was 1 just a few days ago so the "minute" doesn't seem like such a stretch.

Questions

Matthew has started asking all kinds of questions lately.  While we a fully entrenched in the question phase, the depth of the questions is increasing.

A few examples:

"When I grow up will I get milk in my boobies to feed babies"?

"Is this chicken"?  "Did Papa shoot it"?

"Did God make Transformers"?

"Why is the internet being wonky"?

Tuesday Joy

Matthew's favorite school song here lately goes a little something like this....I've got joy joy joy joy down in my heart, down in my heart, down in my heart TUESDAY.  Personally I think the little guy has joy in his little heart every day but I do love hearing about Tuesday.

Gobble Gobble

So Papa bear went turkey hunting last weekend and Matthew doesn't quite get the difference between a turkey and a chicken so yesterday as we were prepping dinner Matthew asked, "Mama, is Papa at work or chicken hunting"?  It made me laugh and picture William bringing home a frozen chicken, slung over his shoulder...which would be fine too.

I not have team

Matthew has recently started his first organized sport, tee-ball and he LOVES it.  Kimber enjoys going and watching but for the first few weeks when anyone would ask him what he thought about it he would very seriously look up at them with his big blue eyes and say "I not have team." 

 It is sad-adorable.

And I quote...myself

You are not eating strawberries without underwear, go get underwear!


Get the bullets out of the dishwasher/bathtub/bed/shoes.


No, we cannot plant hot dogs in our garden.

Mama, we've got movies!!!!!!!!!!!

This afternoon Matthew and I were sitting in the front of my car while Kimber snoozed a bit in the driveway and he was asking what every little thing was, the odometer, the fuel gauge, the bluetooth microphone, and on and on.  He flipped the sun visor down and slid the little door to access the mirror and literally shrieked with delight thinking he had discovered where the movies can be viewed in my car.  Poor guy was quickly disappointed, a car with movies is not high on the priority list around this joint.

And I quote

The things these boys say never fails to crack me up:

At Sam's today, after shopping we stopped to get them a pretzel at the snack bar, which is our tradition.

Me:  Kimber, do you want a salty pretzel or sugary pretzel?

Kimber:  I want PIZZA!


We borrow books and movies from the library each week and Matthew picked out Tarzan this week.  As he sits down to watch it he keeps wanting to know where Tarzan is and I repeatedly tell him which guy is Tarzan, to which he replies, "Mama, that is NOT Tarzan, he has princess hair and no dress". 

Some Matthew-isms

He calls peanuts.... peanut butter nuts.

He is either going to be a storm trooper, captain america, darth vader, luke skywalker, Sher-Khan or chewbacca for Halloween, and these are just the ideas he has had in the last 24 hours.

I'm ready to plant seeds, now!


Some Kimber-isms

I have an idea (usually when he doesn't like what I have told him to do).

Papa, that chip not have handle (you know, the naked part of a chip after covering them with cheese), it's called a handle, apparently.

Mama, I have yogurt?

I beat you Matt/Mama/Papa, it seems every thing is a race these days.

Green Light

After months/years of erratic wake-up times I decided to take matters into my own hands and started researching clocks for the boys room.  I am a morning person but also enjoy somewhat of a schedule and one morning they would be up ready to go at 4:30 AM and the next day it would be 6:30.  There was NO science to it at all and I desperately needed to average it out a bit.

Moral of the story, we bought a nightlight/clock for the boys room that serves as a night light during the night and then turns from yellow to green when it is time to wake up.  I hyped it it big time and hoped/prayed/crossed my fingers it would work.  It did, kind of..well at least for Matthew.  Soon after the clocks introduction I made a sticker chart as a reward for staying in bed until the green light comes on, that was the trick.  Matthew became quite adept at staying in bed until the green light appeared.  Kimber, well he is not a big player in this yet...as he still toddles into our room and climbs up into our bed about 1 AM every morning.

Anyways, we completed the sticker chart and I thought great, we have established a habit and we are good.

Well.......not so much.  A few mornings ago Matthew came in about 10 minutes before his light came on and we asked him if his green light was on and he promptly replied, "no, my green light is broken".

So, here we are back to square one I think.....but at least he is consistently sleeping into the 6:00 hour so it was kind of a success, right?

lights up when it is time to wake up.

"we need dirt"

This morning, after a few intense innings of living room baseball Matthew told me in the most serious tone he could muster that we needed dirt around "homeplate" for sliding in. 

And here I thought I got extra points for playing baseball, in the living room, with him, before 7 AM??

Now he wants to import dirt...actually more dirt...into this house.

Kommando Kimber

Kimber:  "Mama, I be 'mando a little bit"

Translation: He wants to go commando (without underwear).

Hmmmm...is it normal for a 2 year old to know what commando is...or to have such an aversion to undergarments?

midnight countdown

A few minutes ago, around midnight, Willie and I were sitting here chatting and all the sudden from the boys room we hear Matthew say "5,4,3,2,1.....blast off" out of the blue, while he was asleep.  It was all we could do not wake them both with our laughter.

Pushing Buttons

Last night Matthew and Kimber were playing their computer game and Matthew screams "Kimber, quit pushing my buttons!!!!"

Oh buddy, I totally feel your pain!!